*I wish I could swap places with Shiksha! If there is re-incarnation, then true filmi ishtyle, I would give my right arm & leg to be reborn ….. as my parent’s grandchild!
*U know how it is growing up in a typically ‘Tam-Brahm’ phamily : No matter what, it’s crucial to catch the sun-rise, & actually watch the newspaper delivery boy expertly fling “The Hindu” through the gate.
*I even have horrifying memories of early morning wails of the milkman screeching ‘Amma, Paal’ – now if u are thinking clinical, clean, no-mess packets of milk, sorry to disappoint …this was the real thing.
*If u followed the noise of that holler, it would lead you to the gate of our ‘home sweet home’, & the ugliest sight ever would greet your eyes! Two huge, black, smelly buffaloes plaintively bleating their hearts out. Yeah, yeah, it must have been awful to be tied up to that gate, & anticipate prying eyes watch you, while you’re milked dry, all for greedy consumption by the heartless “Subramanyam’s” (my dad’s & the family name, spelt with a ‘y’ – Y I don’t know!!)
*Hold on, the nightmare continues – my parents were not exactly the trusting kind, & were convinced that the milkman’s dying ambition in life was to add water to the milk! So it was war – the Subramanyams vs de ‘Paal-kaaran’!! To add insult to injury, we kids were appointed ‘inspectors’ (I mean adding water to milk, do u understand?!) & were strategically stationed next to the scene of potential crime. I would rate this as the most humiliating experience of my life – the ‘doodh-waala’ would sullenly upturn the bucket as proof of no ‘golmaal’. We had to stand there nonchalantly, & ignore him, as he muttered malovently about cruel unfeeling folks like us, who after all these years, still harbored mistrust & suspicion in our non-existent-hearts.
*Just to put things in perspective, all this was happening at the unearthly hour of 5.30 am. We must have committed some heinous crimes in our past janam, that’s why God planned this punishment for us! U also had the early morning population, who spent their mornings constructively, with some healthy walking! Neighbors & friends, who valiantly attempted to suppress their amusement when they saw the “buffalo-club” – we had lost their respect for ever, & officially joined the ‘laughing stock society’!! This was like baptism by fire – after this, to handle anything in life was child’s play!
*So the mystery of my size has been solved – pure, unadulterated, wholesome buffalo milk, & instead of indulging in invigorating walks in the morning, merely providing entertainment for the fortunate ‘walkers’!!
*Trauma & drama, first thing in the morning!! Then began the patient wait for the newspaper. The man of the house, my dad got first shot at it. There was no question of sharing sections of the paper – u just had to bide your time – there’s a hierarchy here – dad, visiting relatives, elder sisters ….. and then u – whew!! All that, just to catch the city entertainment section, to check out movies running in town. C’mon, there had to be a valid reason for bunking classes in college!
*So u got up, spent quality time with the ‘bhains/errumai/buffaloes’, stood in queue for “The Hindu”, showered …. and then?? Remember there was no 24x7 cable TV, no computers, ipods …. So we just aimlessly hung around, but the early morning getting up thing, there was no messing with that!
*Cut to the present when I go back to the same household, to the same parents, only this time there is Shiksha! Boy, what a difference! Those uncompromising folks, who would ruthlessly yank you outta bed in case u dared to sleep beyond the Subramanyam wake up shout, they gently tiptoe into the room, lovingly draw the blinds, tearfully watch the little angel sleeping, & actually instruct me not to talk so loudly in case, God forbid, she wakes up.
*Huh?!!! What the hell did I miss??? The mean person in me was hoping that my daughter would get the ‘early morning treatment’, & be disciplined for life. But obviously I hadn’t reckoned for the fact, that strict, uncompromising parents make the most doting & adoring grandparents.
*The same ‘Maata-shri & Pita-shri’, who ranted on about how getting up late was the sign of a wasted & slothful human being, now spout dialogues about how growing children need their sleep, since they are so active (sure, watching TV, movies, net surfing, chatting, mall hopping … must be exhausting stuff!!) through out the day.
*Oh to be their ‘poti/peti’!! Times they are a changing, so I dared to sneak in some sleep time in the morning – it was my holiday too. Apparently, that milk of human kindness was reserved for Shiksha only. It dried up when it came to me – they were aghast at the fact that I dared to sleep & did not participate in the ‘first coffee of the morning with the virgin decoction & pardon the crudeness, but ‘straight from the udder milk’ ritual!! I was accosted with ‘why so late, are u ok’ (not being well was the only excuse for not getting up at dawn!), to being accused of unhealthy habits like sitting up late, & watching TV. “Early to bed, early to rise” – yep, no compromises there, where I was unconcerned. After all, I was merely the daughter of the household!
*Now I feel less guilty about the fact that my daughter cordially dislikes me, & dreams of a life where dirty words like “mom” don’t exist! I will still make it to heaven, since my penance will be in the form of spoiling my grand-children, & being sinfully nice to them. Grand-parent-ing I look forward to! I will atone for my sins as a mother, by being the most fabulous grandmother ever!
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