Feminists (advance apologies, young Anu Santhanam!) are going to make voodoo dolls of me & stick pins into every available space! A student of economics, I subscribe to Adam Smith’s theory of “Division of Labor (DOL)” – my shaadi is a tribute to DOL, where my husband & I divide our responsibilities equally; he earns & I spend!!!
Don’t get me wrong – loved every moment of my mazdoori days – great colleagues, fun clients, the pay slip…. but was equally ecstatic about hanging up my career shoes & living a life of decadence, doing nothing! But there’s many a slip b/w the cup and the lip; the well meaning society around me, scoffed at my dreams of an idyllic, wasteful lifestyle!
“What will you do sitting at home?” they cried in horror! Facebook, some faltu writing, reading, watching movies, travelling …. apparently not enough reason to while away your time – helplessly watched my dreams slipping away & I was no longer mistress of my destiny; suddenly groups of determined women emerged out of nowhere (I guess I had been blissfully slaving at my job &S had no time to realize their existence!) to rescue the ‘poor, bored housewife’ – my fervent pleas that I was not, fell on stubborn, deaf ears:
The Samaj Sevaks: I was summoned for high tea by this bunch of zealous ladies & told that I had to pay my dues to the community! Felt like my debut, my coming out ceremony & I could sense critical gazes analyzing my every move. Apparently, despite spilling scalding coffee on my outfit & committing the crime of addressing the senior citizen of the group as ‘aunty’, I passed muster & was graciously informed that I would be given the post of secretary of the “Ladies Association” – when I had the temerity to ask what my responsibilities would be, I got some glassy glares & taking pity on me, one of the kinder souls told me, that as a reward, they would throw in a couple of children’s fancy dress & recitation competitions for me to judge, to boost my morale!! How could one refuse that, but I weakly said that I would consult my husband (I always use him to get out of tricky situations!) & get back to them!
The Satsang Sisters: these babes are formidable! They sniff you out, taunt your heathen lifestyle, throw you a bone by accepting that maybe having a full time job prevented you from fulfilling your religious duties, but aaj ke baad, no excuses!!! Believe me, cross my heart & hope to die; there is a parallel universe out there – from bhajan groups, to shloka classes, chanting, prayer meetings …. All very spiritual & noble, but I am one of life’s incorrigible ‘purana paapis’! Plus, you have to sit cross legged on the cold floor for ages for these sessions, my chubby knees protest & my stomach makes rumbling, hungry noises! There is one Guruji in town, who is always narrating stories about some wicked ladies, who were not God fearing & met with horrific ends & I am convinced that these anecdotes with a moral at the end, are meant for bad ‘ole me; I have a one-to-one, fun, private relationship with the Maker, so am now wasting my ‘doing nothing’ time ducking out of sight of the ‘Satsang Sisters!’
The Kitty Cats: Now these parties are fun affairs, spilling with bindaas babes, who get together & have a blast! There is money collected & a winner is declared every month, but I am happy with banks & my husband! Apparently they sing, dance & make merry – even prepare songs & dance to them! How cool, but the thought of myself croaking out maybe “Sheela ke Jawani” & doing the Katrina moves, chilled me to the bone – what if someone taped it? That could be blackmail material, so I politely purred in refusal! Did I hear strains of "Munni badnaam hui ....?!"
Sapna mera, toot gaya …
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