Priya Kaushik - Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai ....

Confession: Before I met Priya, I was quite willing to dislike her! Priya was the first woman of substance (I am still trying in vain to acquire that status!) in Ashok’s life; as the pehla Kaushik bahu, she floated into AK’s (as Priya called him) existence, like a breath of fresh, exciting, happy air & my-now-husband, was so used to spending time with her, that jab we met, he was forever calling me “Priya”, which bugged me no end!

So in our case, Ashok substituted ‘Meet the Parents’, with ‘Meet the Bhabi’! Priya in those days, worked at the book store in Sindoori hotels (I think the owner of the store is the person behind the iconic Landmark); there she was, plonked on the floor, surrounded by one of the loves of her life, books, sorting them, a dazzling smile on her face (much later I realized that there was rarely a time when she was without her favorite accessory – that smile!), totally at peace with the world & my hard heart melted – no one could remain immune to that charm!

Another first – finally met someone who could talk even more than me!!! A student of English literature & a favourite teacher of the language, to hundreds of lucky students, Priya had no full-stops in her sentences -she jabbered on excitedly & every second sentence had ‘Ramesh’ (AK’s brother & the best brother-in-law!) in it! This was a woman in love & when I went to meet her, twenty-six years later, incredibly, she still couldn’t form a sentence which didn’t have a “Ramesh” in it – a deep, enduring, unconditional love, which should be described by a better writer than me, because it left me speechless, or should we say, word-less!

Pregnant Priya was the cutest – waddling around, with Karan kicking up a racket inside, she grumbled about how being married to a doctor had its disadvantages – every time she complained of aches & pains, apna Dr. Kaushik would nonchalantly dismiss them as, “aisa hi hota hai pregnancy mein!’ I was one of the first to hold Karan in my arms & was hooked for life! Karan will never be able to shake off the fact, that he has no choice, but to accept that his crazy aunt Uma, will always regard him as part-hers!

Sid the Kid, was born in Botswana; Priya narrated this fascinating story, about how she was teaching in a school there; when the absolutely adorable bundle called Sidharth, came into this world, within a few days after her delivery, Priya was back in her African class-room, with the new born baby, comfortably gurgling away, in a pram next to her – he had the entire class rooting for him! No surprises, that Sidharth has such a positive, sunny disposition, full of good humour & that ‘make the most out of life’ attitude!

On a trip to India, from Botswana, Sidharth, then a baby, had a bad attack of the loosies! At a restaurant, we finally ran out of diapers;Priya & I sneaked into the restroom & made nappies out of the hand towels there ... that sealed the deal – we were partners-in-crime!

From rewind mode, back to the almost present: We rushed to Chennai in September, to spend time with Priya. Soberly & gingerly, we entered the hospital room, only to find that a party was going on there – a bright, chirpy Priya was the centre of all the action – loving aunts serving her food, chatting non-stop with her cousin, a telephone conversation with Sid .... we were greeted warmly by her, she asked me to come near so that she could check out what I was wearing & if my jewellery matched!

I am glad there were witnesses, or no one would believe this! As all the dear & near relatives were leaving, she firmly insisted on knowing when they would be back the next day; on first name terms with all the nurses, through the pain, enquired whether the lady who had come to check on her, had eaten her dinner!

We laughed, we caught up, we gossiped, like two old ladies & she demanded that I come back the next day, with a sketch book, to keep her occupied! I smile, as I remember the doctor, doing his routine rounds – he couldn’t fit in a word, as Priya breezily told him that she had a good night’s rest, no side effects of the drugs, had a decent appetite & believe it or not, told him, firmly, that he had nothing to worry about!!!!

Ashok spent the nights in the hospital room & had tales of his own to tell; the cutest one being how Priya, got up late night & asked Ashok to sing for her! So a mini concert broke the silence of the Apollo Cancer Hospital, at 2am – Priya ki farmaaish was old Hindi songs & Ashok belted them out for her! Of course, on the final night, Ashok was firmly told that he couldn’t spend the night, because he was making other music too ... of the snoring kind!!!

She was racked with pain & I got into the habit of pressing her legs – of all the compliments I have received in life, this one from Priya, I will cherish – she said I was the ‘best leg presser!’ Now when I look back, I have a feeling, it was less about her pain & more about giving me something to do, because she understood how worried I was!

So there she was, in the middle of that dull hospital room, brightened up by her positive energy, worrying – not for herself, but for Ramesh , her parents, her boys her in-laws & even us .... I reiterate, there were others around who will, albeit with a sense of disbelief, vouch for this!

Back in Chennai, in November, this time with a heavy heart, I got ready to go to Priya’s parents house. My poor mother was horrified, when she saw me dressed in a bright orange churidaar kameez, with an eye-blinding fuschia duppatta; she exclaimed that it was very inappropriate for such a solemn occasion; but this was for Priya, who would have gushed excitedly at the colors & leaned closer, to check out my silver jewellery & I knew it was alright!

Hanging with two of the coolest, fun loving, interesting & handsome dudes in town, I realised, that Priya's zest for life, fun-loving spirit, sense of adventure, special spark, quirky sense of humor, her magic, masti & so much more, is reflected & lives on in her two sons, Karan & Sidharth Kaushik!

I remember humming this song, with Priya, who said it was one of her favourites:
“Kissi ki muskurahaton pe ho nisar, Kissi ka dard mil sake to le udhaar,
Kissi ke vaaste ho tere dil mein pyaar, jeena isi ka naam hai!”

By this definition, you lived well, Priya Kaushik & did us all proud!

Love you always!