Empty Nesters - the five stage theory!

Stage 1:

The virgin steps into an unknown territory; when you leave your heart & credit card behind with your offspring & enter an empty ghar for the first time – what this mom did was to keep the door of daughter dearest’s room, firmly shut. To go into that pink, purple & green kamra, (we could stop here to discuss the violent hues, but maybe not, because I am determined to stay focused & resist the temptation to go off tangent!) sans its rightful owner, makes it difficult to be brave & not bawl your heart out, for your little sparrow! That she is a fully grown adult, who is likely to want to kill herself, or me, for describing her thus, is immaterial – when she’s a doddering eighty year & if I am still alive, (scared you, huh?!), she will still be my baby & that’s her cross to bear!
Stage 2:
Theek hai! So the mourning period is over & my disapproving houseboy (who lovingly addresses me as “Maa-Ji” & makes me feel like a fossil, but all that maaf, because of the giggles he inspires, every time he calls my husband “Papa”!) insists that I set aside sissy emotions & open up that door, so that he can clean the room. “Khulja Simsim” & voila, “Didi’s” (yep, if yours truly is “Maa-ji” & my better half is “Papa’, then “Didi” it is!) room is back in business!
Stage 3:

Optimism raises its pretty head in this phase. Skype, calls, mails, messages, bbm’s & yep, even some old fashioned letters …. dullen the judaai ka gham! Every dark cloud has a silver lining & here it comes – yeah, yeah, I miss my daughter, but can’t control the excitement at the rare opportunity to clean up her room without worrying about the room’s resident shrieking at me not to clean up her mess, or to deal with her outrage at my wanting to chuck stuff away & that she will clean the room herself … someday!!! Aaaaah, this is pure therapy – to make that bed without a single wrinkle on it, to neatly stack stuff (which the young style guru of the house labels as nerdy!) fill garbage bags up with the junk which has unbelievably fitted all into that room … & I thought I would never feel happy again for a long time!

Stage 4:
Taking my cue from the movie “Bad Teacher”, I christen the upcoming period “Bad Parent”! The room cleaned & cleared, looks divine, spacious & much better than mine! First, my laptop is relocated to “Didi’s” study table; Like Goldilocks, I find the spot ‘just right!’ But I called this stage “Bad Parent” so enter “Papa” too! He slides the treadmill to his daughter’s room & he too, finds the distance from the treadmill to the TV, ‘just right!’! From then onwards, its invasion of the room, all the way! Clothes from the laundry are kept in the cupboards ‘(just for a few hours till I find time to sort them out’, you tell yourself!), the drawers & shelves are packed with stuff you can’t seem to find place for, your cosmetics find their way to the dressing table here ….. Yes I am ashamed, but kya karein, control nahin hota!!!
Stage 5:
The wait is over & the daughter of the house is finally coming home for the holidays. My emotions – a mixed bag, of bubbling joy, ecstasy, uncontrollable smiles (which have creeped out quite a lot of folks!) …. & panic & pure guilt! OMG, the room has to be cleared & wiped clean of all traces of us having wickedly taken it over!
The pots are going to be simmering with Shiksha’s favorite dishes, the frig is getting stocked up, films are being downloaded for family movie nites ….. & some serious clearing up is happening – so much to do, so little time!!!